He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
