Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
