Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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