This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
