yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize