i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
