Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
