looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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