your room smells of hookers.
And success
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
