I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize