I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
