You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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