Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
