By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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