She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
