Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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