you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
