you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
