he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
