You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
