I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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