Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize