I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
