I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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