Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
