i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize