So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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