On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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