At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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