I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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