I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
