If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
