i need an iv and a liver transplant
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
