Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
