she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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