I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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