she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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