I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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