I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
