I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
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Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
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I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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