i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
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Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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