Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize