No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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