Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
