I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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