its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize