I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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