so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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