hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
