plz talk dirty to me
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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