Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
