Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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