My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
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We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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