I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
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whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Found the puke drawer
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She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.