Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.