Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas