Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How external is "for external use only"?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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