sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure