Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
