we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
