I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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