I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
